sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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