just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
