She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So much rum. So many feels.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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