if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
