the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
