you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
