Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize