you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
