She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
