I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
