at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
