I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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