She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
that's an acceptable place to lick
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Holy shit dude........stairs
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
