Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
