Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
