is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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