Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
