Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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