Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
