Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
