i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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