my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
