i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
