I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
