my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He passed out mid-signature
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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