Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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