Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
