I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
