You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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