garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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