I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
