Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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