Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
