how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The air taste purple.
Randomize
