The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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