So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
