Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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