great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
