Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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