evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
