Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
