how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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