Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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