This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
