why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
