i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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