It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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