low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
