Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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