I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
