What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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