Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
