ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
